funny-cat/yomama.txt

Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.
Yo momma is so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me."
Yo mamma is so ugly when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, "Sorry, no professionals."
Yo momma's so fat and old when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mother to move out of the way.
Yo momma's so fat, that when she fell, no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up.
Yo momma is so fat when she sat on WalMart, she lowered the prices.
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.
Yo momma is so fat that Dora can't even explore her!
Your momma is so ugly she made One Direction go another direction.
Yo momma is so fat her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
Yo momma is so fat that when she saw a yellow school bus go by full of white kids she ran after it yelling, "TWINKIE!"
Yo momma's so fat, that when she went to the zoo, the hippos got jealous.
Your momma's so ugly, when she goes into a strip club, they pay her to keep her clothes on.
Yo mama so ugly when she went into a haunted house she came out with a job application.
Yo mamma is so fat she walked past the TV and I missed 3 episodes.
Yo momma is so ugly even Hello Kitty said, "Goodbye" to her
Yo momma so fat when she steps out in a yellow raincoat, the people yell, "TAXI!"
Yo mom is so dumb that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Yo momma is so stupid when your dad sad it was chilly outside, she ran out the door with a spoon!
Yo momma is so poor I saw her kicking a trash can so I asked, "What are you doing?" and she said, "I'm moving."
Yo momma's so fat, she got baptized at Sea World.
Yo mama is so ugly she made my happy meal cry.
Your mamma's so fat people jog around her for exercise.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, yo' daddy takes her to work with him so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
Yo momma's so fat, when I swerved to avoid her in the street I ran outta gas.
Yo momma's so fat, the Hogwarts Sorting Hat put her in all 4 houses!
Yo mama's teeth so yellow, I can't believe its not butter.
Yo mama's armpit is so hairy it looks like she has Bigfoot in a headlock.
Yo momma's so fat, even Dora can't explore her.
Yo momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
Yo mama so ugly the Terminator said, "I won't be back."
Yo momma's so fat, she only knows 3 letters of the alphabet: KFC.
Yo mama is so fat that when she takes a shower her feet don't get wet.
Yo momma's so stupid, she tried to hug her reflection in the pool thinking it was her long lost twin, and drowned.
Yo momma so dumb, she tried to surf the microwave
Yo momma so ugly she is the reason they turn off the lights at the movie theater.
Yo mamma is so fat, black holes get sucked into her.
Yo mama so fat, she has her own zip code.
Yo mama's so broke that she couldn't even pay attention.
Yo mama so fat, Dracula sucked her blood and got diabetes.
Yo mama so fat the only reason she took algebra in high school was because she heard there was gonna be some pi.
Yo momma so stupid it took her four hours to watch "60 Minutes."
Yo momma's so fat, she wakes up in sections.
Yo momma's so fat, when she went to the beach, the whales sang, "We are family!"
Yo momma is so dumb she tripped over a cordless phone.
Your momma is so old when her breast milk comes out it's powder.
Yo momma is so fat you need to take two trains and a bus just to get on her good side.
Your mama is so stupid she thought fruit punch was a gay boxer.
Yo mama so fat, she doesn't need internet, she's already worldwide.
Yo mama so stupid, she went to the eye doctor to get an iPhone.
Yo mamma so short when she tried to smoke weed she couldn't get high.
Yo momma's so fat, she played the role of the boulder in the first Indiana Jones movie.
Yo momma's so stupid she thought Taco Bell was the Mexican phone company.
Yo momma's so fat she puts a cup of water in the bathtub and it still overflows!
Yo Momma's so poor I stepped in a puddle, and her head popped out and said, "WHAT ARE YOU DOINF IN MY BATHTUB!?"
Yo momma so fat her favorite food is seconds.
Yo mamma is so ugly, when she brought a pig into Walmart, the manager said, "Get that pig out of here," and the pig said, "Sorry, it won't happen again!"
Yo mama so fat, when she sweats she causes a tsunami.
Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Yo mama so ugly that her pillows cry.
Yo mama is so stupid, she walked into Walgreens and said, "These walls ain't green."
Yo momma is so fat when she sat on a quarter a booger came out of George Washington's nose.
If pigs could fly, your mom would have wings.
Yo mama is so small she can't even get high.
Yo momma is so stupid she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
Yo momma’s so ugly, when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours – for a quote!
Yo mama is so fat that when she went to the movie theater she sat next to everybody.
Your mama so fat when she did a push up Earth went down.
Yo mama so poor that when somebody stepped on her cigarette she said, "Who turned off my heat?"
Yo mama so ugly when she went to the bank they asked her to put on a ski mask.
Yo momma so crusty Pizza Hut is jealous.
Yo mama is so stupid she came over to my house and shouted in my mailbox to leave me voicemail.
Yo momma so fat when she turned around we gave her a Welcome Back Party.
Yo momma so ugly her pillow cries at night!
Your mama so old her first Christmas was the first Christmas.
Yo mama so stupid, she went to the dollar store and said, "How much is this?"
Yo mama is so fat when Jabba's guard pushed her into the sarlacc pit, it choked to death.
Yo mama is so fat when Jabba's guard pushed her into the sarlacc pit, it choked to death.
Yo mama so old she knew Mr. Clean when he had an Afro.
Yo mama so stupid she brought tea bags to the World Cup.
Yo mama is so old that when she farts, dust comes out!
Yo mama so old her Social Security number is 1.
Yo mama’s so old, when she breast feeds, people mistake her for a fog machine!
Yo momma's so fat, when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge, too.
Yo momma's so fat she passed the window and we lost light for 4 days.
Yo mamma is so fat that when she went to the Gap, she filled it in.
Yo mamma's so fat her baby picture was taken by Neil Armstrong.
Yo momma is such a ho they call her house Kum & Go because all the men "Kum & Go."
Yo mamma so fat, when she plays paintball her teammates hide behind her.
Yo mama so fat that her yearbook picture was on page 20, 21, 22, and 23.
Yo mamma's so stupid, she uses hair spray to clean her pet rabbit!
Yo mama so old, she knew 50 Cent when he was only a quarter.
Yo momma so fat she wore a sign that said "CAUTION: Wide Turns!"
Yo mommas like a shotgun: two cocks and she blows.
Yo momma's so dumb, when your aunt had twins, she asked yo momma to name them. She named one Denise, and the other Denephew.
Yo Momma so fat she uses the 101 fwy for a slip 'n' slide!
Yo mama's so fat when she went to In and Out she couldn't get in or out.
Yo momma is so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and said, "Where's my gumball?"
Yo momma's so fat, when she ordered a water bed, they put a blanket over the Atlantic Ocean.
Yo mamma's so fat, she IS the circle of life.
Yo mama so big she got hit by a bus and said, "Hey, who threw a rock at me?"
Yo momma's so ugly, they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower.
Yo mamma so ugly she is the reason Waldo is hiding.
Yo momma's so fat, when she jumped for joy she got stuck!
Your mama is so ugly even the tide won't take her out.
Yo mamma's so stupid, she thought Free Willy was a porno film.
Yo momma so hairy Bigfoot took a picture of HER!
Yo mama so ugly she's the reason Sonic runs fast.
Your mum is like the sun: big, round, and hard to look at.
Yo mama is so fat that when she talks to herself, it’s a long distance call.
Yo mama is so hairy she shaves with a weed-whacker.
Your momma's so stupid when my car ran out of gas she came over and farted in the tank.
Yo momma's so fat, she's on both sides of the family.
Yo momma is so black she makes Akon look like Casper.
Yo mamma is so old she knew Burger King when he was a prince.
Yo mama so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
Yo momma's so stupid, she thought Dickies were condoms for kids.
Yo momma so stupid, when she saw YMCA, she said, "Look, they spelled Macy's wrong."
Yo mama so fat that when aliens came to invade us they said, "Wow! Two planets in one."
Yo mamma is so hairy when you were born you had carpet burn.
Yo mama so black, I shot at her and the bullet came back and asked for a flashlight.
Yo mama so fat she got a job at the movie theater as the screen!
Yo mamma is so fat, Bill Gates became broke after buying her dinner.
Yo mama's hair is so full of dandruff, when she shook her head, the principal called a snow day.
Your mama is so ugly that when I told her to do the robot, R2-D2 got herpes.
Yo momma's so fat, that when she rubs her thighs together, I smell bacon.
Yo momma so fat her belt loops have mile markers.
Yo momma so fat her belt loops have mile markers.
Yo momma's so poor that she has to lick people's fingers when they come out of KFC!
Yo momma's so hairy when she went too the zoo everybody screamed, "The gorilla's loose!"
Yo mama so poor her front door and back door are on the same hinges.
Yo momma is so fat she tripped over Tokyo and landed in Hawaii.
Yo mama is so stupid she took the puzzle back to the store because she thought it was broken!
Yo momma's so fat, she fell into the Grand Canyon and got stuck!
Yo momma's so fat, when we asked her what her hometown is, she said, "Buffet."
Yo mama is so fat when she wants her photo taken she has to call Google Earth.
Yo mama so fat she got a job at the movie theater as the screen!
Yo momma so stupid, she wanted an apple and went to the Apple Store.
Yo momma so fat she wakes up on both sides of the bed.
Yo mama is so stupid, she wanted to cancel a hockey game due to ice on the field.
Yo mamma is so fat that when she showed up to watch a sumo wrestling tournament, they gave her the trophy.
Yo mamma so poor, when I saw her walking down the street with one shoe on, I stopped and said, "You lost a shoe!" and she said, "No, I found a shoe!"
Yo momma is so stupid she went to the orthodontist to get a Bluetooth.
Yo momma is so fat it took Nationwide 2 years to get on her side.
Yo mamma's so fat, I don't have to make a joke.