147 lines
10 KiB
Plaintext
147 lines
10 KiB
Plaintext
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Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
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Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.
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Yo momma is so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me."
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Yo mamma is so ugly when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, "Sorry, no professionals."
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Yo momma's so fat and old when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mother to move out of the way.
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Yo momma's so fat, that when she fell, no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up.
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Yo momma is so fat when she sat on WalMart, she lowered the prices.
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Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.
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Yo momma is so fat that Dora can't even explore her!
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Your momma is so ugly she made One Direction go another direction.
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Yo momma is so fat her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.
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Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
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Yo momma is so fat that when she saw a yellow school bus go by full of white kids she ran after it yelling, "TWINKIE!"
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Yo momma's so fat, that when she went to the zoo, the hippos got jealous.
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Your momma's so ugly, when she goes into a strip club, they pay her to keep her clothes on.
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Yo mama so ugly when she went into a haunted house she came out with a job application.
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Yo mamma is so fat she walked past the TV and I missed 3 episodes.
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Yo momma is so ugly even Hello Kitty said, "Goodbye" to her
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Yo momma so fat when she steps out in a yellow raincoat, the people yell, "TAXI!"
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Yo mom is so dumb that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
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Yo momma is so stupid when your dad sad it was chilly outside, she ran out the door with a spoon!
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Yo momma is so poor I saw her kicking a trash can so I asked, "What are you doing?" and she said, "I'm moving."
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Yo momma's so fat, she got baptized at Sea World.
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Yo mama is so ugly she made my happy meal cry.
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Your mamma's so fat people jog around her for exercise.
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Yo' Mama is so ugly, yo' daddy takes her to work with him so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
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Yo momma's so fat, when I swerved to avoid her in the street I ran outta gas.
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Yo momma's so fat, the Hogwarts Sorting Hat put her in all 4 houses!
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Yo mama's teeth so yellow, I can't believe its not butter.
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Yo mama's armpit is so hairy it looks like she has Bigfoot in a headlock.
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Yo momma's so fat, even Dora can't explore her.
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Yo momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
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Yo mama so ugly the Terminator said, "I won't be back."
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Yo momma's so fat, she only knows 3 letters of the alphabet: KFC.
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Yo mama is so fat that when she takes a shower her feet don't get wet.
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Yo momma's so stupid, she tried to hug her reflection in the pool thinking it was her long lost twin, and drowned.
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Yo momma so dumb, she tried to surf the microwave
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Yo momma so ugly she is the reason they turn off the lights at the movie theater.
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Yo mamma is so fat, black holes get sucked into her.
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Yo mama so fat, she has her own zip code.
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Yo mama's so broke that she couldn't even pay attention.
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Yo mama so fat, Dracula sucked her blood and got diabetes.
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Yo mama so fat the only reason she took algebra in high school was because she heard there was gonna be some pi.
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Yo momma so stupid it took her four hours to watch "60 Minutes."
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Yo momma's so fat, she wakes up in sections.
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Yo momma's so fat, when she went to the beach, the whales sang, "We are family!"
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Yo momma is so dumb she tripped over a cordless phone.
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Your momma is so old when her breast milk comes out it's powder.
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Yo momma is so fat you need to take two trains and a bus just to get on her good side.
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Your mama is so stupid she thought fruit punch was a gay boxer.
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Yo mama so fat, she doesn't need internet, she's already worldwide.
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Yo mama so stupid, she went to the eye doctor to get an iPhone.
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Yo mamma so short when she tried to smoke weed she couldn't get high.
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Yo momma's so fat, she played the role of the boulder in the first Indiana Jones movie.
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Yo momma's so stupid she thought Taco Bell was the Mexican phone company.
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Yo momma's so fat she puts a cup of water in the bathtub and it still overflows!
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Yo Momma's so poor I stepped in a puddle, and her head popped out and said, "WHAT ARE YOU DOINF IN MY BATHTUB!?"
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Yo momma so fat her favorite food is seconds.
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Yo mamma is so ugly, when she brought a pig into Walmart, the manager said, "Get that pig out of here," and the pig said, "Sorry, it won't happen again!"
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Yo mama so fat, when she sweats she causes a tsunami.
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Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.
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Yo mama so ugly that her pillows cry.
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Yo mama is so stupid, she walked into Walgreens and said, "These walls ain't green."
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Yo momma is so fat when she sat on a quarter a booger came out of George Washington's nose.
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If pigs could fly, your mom would have wings.
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Yo mama is so small she can't even get high.
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Yo momma is so stupid she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
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Yo momma’s so ugly, when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours – for a quote!
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Yo mama is so fat that when she went to the movie theater she sat next to everybody.
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Your mama so fat when she did a push up Earth went down.
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Yo mama so poor that when somebody stepped on her cigarette she said, "Who turned off my heat?"
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Yo mama so ugly when she went to the bank they asked her to put on a ski mask.
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Yo momma so crusty Pizza Hut is jealous.
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Yo mama is so stupid she came over to my house and shouted in my mailbox to leave me voicemail.
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Yo momma so fat when she turned around we gave her a Welcome Back Party.
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Yo momma so ugly her pillow cries at night!
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Your mama so old her first Christmas was the first Christmas.
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Yo mama so stupid, she went to the dollar store and said, "How much is this?"
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Yo mama is so fat when Jabba's guard pushed her into the sarlacc pit, it choked to death.
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Yo mama is so fat when Jabba's guard pushed her into the sarlacc pit, it choked to death.
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Yo mama so old she knew Mr. Clean when he had an Afro.
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Yo mama so stupid she brought tea bags to the World Cup.
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Yo mama is so old that when she farts, dust comes out!
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Yo mama so old her Social Security number is 1.
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Yo mama’s so old, when she breast feeds, people mistake her for a fog machine!
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Yo momma's so fat, when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge, too.
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Yo momma's so fat she passed the window and we lost light for 4 days.
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Yo mamma is so fat that when she went to the Gap, she filled it in.
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Yo mamma's so fat her baby picture was taken by Neil Armstrong.
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Yo momma is such a ho they call her house Kum & Go because all the men "Kum & Go."
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Yo mamma so fat, when she plays paintball her teammates hide behind her.
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Yo mama so fat that her yearbook picture was on page 20, 21, 22, and 23.
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Yo mamma's so stupid, she uses hair spray to clean her pet rabbit!
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Yo mama so old, she knew 50 Cent when he was only a quarter.
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Yo momma so fat she wore a sign that said "CAUTION: Wide Turns!"
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Yo mommas like a shotgun: two cocks and she blows.
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Yo momma's so dumb, when your aunt had twins, she asked yo momma to name them. She named one Denise, and the other Denephew.
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Yo Momma so fat she uses the 101 fwy for a slip 'n' slide!
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Yo mama's so fat when she went to In and Out she couldn't get in or out.
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Yo momma is so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and said, "Where's my gumball?"
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Yo momma's so fat, when she ordered a water bed, they put a blanket over the Atlantic Ocean.
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Yo mamma's so fat, she IS the circle of life.
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Yo mama so big she got hit by a bus and said, "Hey, who threw a rock at me?"
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Yo momma's so ugly, they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower.
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Yo mamma so ugly she is the reason Waldo is hiding.
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Yo momma's so fat, when she jumped for joy she got stuck!
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Your mama is so ugly even the tide won't take her out.
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Yo mamma's so stupid, she thought Free Willy was a porno film.
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Yo momma so hairy Bigfoot took a picture of HER!
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Yo mama so ugly she's the reason Sonic runs fast.
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Your mum is like the sun: big, round, and hard to look at.
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Yo mama is so fat that when she talks to herself, it’s a long distance call.
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Yo mama is so hairy she shaves with a weed-whacker.
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Your momma's so stupid when my car ran out of gas she came over and farted in the tank.
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Yo momma's so fat, she's on both sides of the family.
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Yo momma is so black she makes Akon look like Casper.
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Yo mamma is so old she knew Burger King when he was a prince.
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Yo mama so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
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Yo momma's so stupid, she thought Dickies were condoms for kids.
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Yo momma so stupid, when she saw YMCA, she said, "Look, they spelled Macy's wrong."
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Yo mama so fat that when aliens came to invade us they said, "Wow! Two planets in one."
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Yo mamma is so hairy when you were born you had carpet burn.
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Yo mama so black, I shot at her and the bullet came back and asked for a flashlight.
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Yo mama so fat she got a job at the movie theater as the screen!
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Yo mamma is so fat, Bill Gates became broke after buying her dinner.
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Yo mama's hair is so full of dandruff, when she shook her head, the principal called a snow day.
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Your mama is so ugly that when I told her to do the robot, R2-D2 got herpes.
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Yo momma's so fat, that when she rubs her thighs together, I smell bacon.
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Yo momma so fat her belt loops have mile markers.
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Yo momma so fat her belt loops have mile markers.
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Yo momma's so poor that she has to lick people's fingers when they come out of KFC!
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Yo momma's so hairy when she went too the zoo everybody screamed, "The gorilla's loose!"
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Yo mama so poor her front door and back door are on the same hinges.
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Yo momma is so fat she tripped over Tokyo and landed in Hawaii.
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Yo mama is so stupid she took the puzzle back to the store because she thought it was broken!
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Yo momma's so fat, she fell into the Grand Canyon and got stuck!
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Yo momma's so fat, when we asked her what her hometown is, she said, "Buffet."
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Yo mama is so fat when she wants her photo taken she has to call Google Earth.
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Yo mama so fat she got a job at the movie theater as the screen!
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Yo momma so stupid, she wanted an apple and went to the Apple Store.
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Yo momma so fat she wakes up on both sides of the bed.
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Yo mama is so stupid, she wanted to cancel a hockey game due to ice on the field.
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Yo mamma is so fat that when she showed up to watch a sumo wrestling tournament, they gave her the trophy.
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Yo mamma so poor, when I saw her walking down the street with one shoe on, I stopped and said, "You lost a shoe!" and she said, "No, I found a shoe!"
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Yo momma is so stupid she went to the orthodontist to get a Bluetooth.
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Yo momma is so fat it took Nationwide 2 years to get on her side.
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Yo mamma's so fat, I don't have to make a joke.
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